Finding Your Rhythm / Breaking Through the Facade of Balance
/Do you ever find yourself totally exhausted but unable to stop?
You can't stop-- too many things and people depend on you, too many passions that you simply cannot (and should not) stop chasing. So you keep going. Rocking some days only to realize that because you rocked at one area you totally failed in another. The balancing it all game never seems to balance out for you like it does for others.
Our specifics are all different but the themes of our stories are so very similar.
Some days I find myself having huge success with my business, Sacred Holidays, full of partnerships, happy customer emails, high sales, and speaking engagements booked. Only to be quickly snapped back to reality that night by my kids having the biggest tantrum in line at Trader Joe's.
#mommyfail
Or I will have the best date night with my husband, a much-needed reconnection, only to get on social media before dozing off to discover that many of my friends were hanging out that night... without me.
#friendfail
Some magical weeks all things feel perfectly balanced-- marriage, faith, kiddos, work, community- check, check, check. Then I'll go over budget on groceries, the car will break down, or I'll fill the cart at Target when I just ran in real quick for mascara.
#daveramseyfail
In our social media age, the perception that others have balance in their lives has never been more accessible. Social media is a beautiful and (in my opinion) necessary thing if you want to be an influencer. However, it can do a number on us and our fight to live secure rather than insecure. Everyone else seems to be doing it all and doing it all perfectly in balance.
SO I'M CALLING IT: BALANCE IS A FACADE.
We see too many beautiful parts of others lives. Even their #keepingitreal posts seem staged and filtered. And guess what? They likely are. No one puts the hard out there, not the truly hard that's happening in the moment. Honestly, they probably shouldn't because it's not our business. No one is capable of balancing it all-- not perfectly nor consistently and definitely not with Instagram worthy shots of their every moment.
Instead of balance, let's find a healthy rhythm for our days.
Rhythm has been my resolution this year. Last year everything got way out of sync-- we moved, had a baby, my business took off, new community formed, and my husband's job location changed. Everything was changing and moving so fast. I was living out my dream in so many areas yet I felt like the lack of peaceful balance meant I was doing it wrong.
I was out of balance but unable, and unwilling, to take anything off the scale, so to speak. I knew something had to change but I couldn't figure out what. None of the 10 Steps to a More Balanced Life blog posts were working. Then I realized: things on my plate didn't need to be rearranged to find balance, instead I needed to find a healthy pace, a rhythm that's in tune and in sync with my passions and my people.
I can't do it all. I can't balance all that I'm doing. Neither can you.
However, I can find a healthier rhythm. And, friend, so can you. If we are going to dominate in whatever ways we are running after, we must find a healthy rhythm.
The key in finding rhythm, I'm discovering, is less about juggling all things well and more about giving yourself a lot more grace and a little creative planning.
This will be implemented differently each day for each of us, which has been the case for me. Some days this looks like me in the office for a good chunk of the day and my kids end up playing independently or watching a few more shows on Netflix than usual. I can't let that "off balance" day throw us all off. I didn't fail as a mom because of that Sophia the First marathon. There will simply be some days my kids don't have my full attention. So I break for a fun picnic lunch in the backyard and let them have popcorn upstairs during show time. I give grace in knowing that my three girls are seeing me invest not just in them but in women all over the nation and I want them to be world changers in their own way. So today I mommy them best by living out my dream right in front of them. They are part of that dream, but they aren't the only part, and that’s healthy, not off balance, for them to experience that.
Those days are perfectly in rhythm. I didn't fail at being a mom that day any more than I failed at being a business woman on the days that I turn off all screens and notifications, and call it a day of rest.
WE MUST GIVE OURSELVES MORE GRACE.
Confession? I still struggle with this nearly every day. I fight to give myself grace in this rhythm. I've also learned that when I'm pursuing rhythm, to have all things within balance means I've flat lined.
We don't want to flat line. We weren't meant to. We were made to do something with our lives. The aim isn't balance; the aim is a healthy rhythm.
How can you give yourself more grace and live with a healthy rhythm?
Becky has been married to Chris Kiser {St. Louis Cardinals fanatic & (wife-proclaimed) genius} for 8 years. She is a mom to 3 girls: Karis {girly girl & tenacious 5 year old}, Moriah {mischievous & hilarious 3 year old}, and Chandler {our smiley and chunky baby}. She founded Sacred Holidays in the fall of 2014. Becky blogs {at www.beckykiser.com & guest post often on other blogs} about her life, what she's learning and whatever else comes up. She is a former MBTI Certified Personal & Executive Coach {with orbitingnormal.org} and still loves coaching teams and women from time to time. Becky loves getting to speak at women’s events and prisons. She is addicted to ice tea and loves to read {although it’s a lot of picture books these days}. Becky and her husband live in Houston {really the Woodlands, just north of town} and they are a part of Church Project. They believe Jesus when He said to love God and others– that’s our aim in life {although imperfectly done}.
