guest post by Nicolya Williams

There are entire books written about the most effective way to both set and achieve your goals. There are even systems in place to help ensure that the goals you have set are able to be obtained. For example, we have all heard of S.M.A.R.T. goals.

Books are very helpful, but what I found in working with different women is that they lacked direction and clarity around their goal setting. The women I work with often set goals because they think that it is the right thing to do or out of fear and confusion. The problem with this approach is that the goals that are being set are not truly things that women are passionate about.

I personally battled with that this year. I love working out and when talking to my friends at the gym we talked about setting goals to work out five days a week together. I set this goal because that is what seemed right at the time , but in all reality that wasn't MY goal. My goal was to be fit and work out when I could not be forced to do it based on someone else's schedule. I tried to keep it up, but with all of my responsibilities my schedule did not align with theirs and it caused me to fall short many weeks. This experience caused me to feel like a failure when in reality I was setting the wrong goal. When I revamped my goal to work out in smaller increments of time throughout my week I was then able to accomplish this goal and felt much better about my approach.

This experience and the many conversations I have had with different women opened my eyes to our goal setting dilemmas. I want to share three ways to ensure that you are setting goals that are authentic to you.

3 ways to set authentic goals - belong magazine blog

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The first way to know if a goal you set is truly yours is if you can't stop thinking about the goal. For example, when you wrote it down you smiled, you think about it throughout the day and when you think of the outcome it makes you excited. This may be a goal that keeps you up at night.

When I started my coaching business I would go to sleep thinking of all the things I could do for women. Throughout the day I worked to study ways in which I could be a better coach. At night I dreamed of all of the women who I would be able to encourage, support and motivate. This goal was truly mine and I could tell as I was invested in it.

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Another way to know that a goal is truly something you desire is if are not willing change it based on others thoughts. If we set goals and waiver because of the options of others that says that we weren't confident in our goal, to begin with. When you really hope to accomplish a goal you are less likely to change it because of the opinions people may feed you.

This is not to say that your goals won't be challenging or that you won't have times in which you desire to give up. This does NOT mean that the goal was not an authentic one. This means that there are obstacles and any goal worth obtaining will have obstacles. Let's be honest if you have a goal with no obstacles it probably isn't taking you anywhere worth going.

Do you want to know the real reason you are not taking action on your goals? It is probably because you do not genuinely want it. You may have set a goal because you think that is the right thing to do, or maybe because this goal was assigned to you.

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The last way to ensure that your goals are authentic is when you are willing to take consistent and deliberate action. When we set goals that we are passionate about we are willing to work late, study more, learn more and even sacrifice to accomplish them.

Usually, these are goals we set to change something in our life that we are fed up with. For example, you might set a goal to go back to school because you are tired of your career and would like to have more opportunity doors opened. When you get tired of the place that you're at and you set a goal to take you to that next level you're more likely to work towards it consistently because you are fed up.

Goals give us a chance to work towards things that we hope to accomplish. When we set clear goals we are able to reflect on our progress through time. From here going forward be sure to set goals that you desire to accomplish. Do not feel pressured to set goals based on other people's opinions or just to say you did it. Set goals with a clear mind and genuine desire to reach them. When you are passionate about the goals you set you will reap benefits far beyond what you can imagine.

Nicolya Williams is a life coach, and blogger for women. As a coach she divides her time between empowering women one on one and motivating groups of women through master classes. When not spending time on her business Nicolya enjoys spending time with family, reading, attending church or exercising at the gym. You can connect with Nicolya at www.nicolyawilliams.com or on social media @NicolyaWilliams